About the Novel

Here’s your  front-row seat within the mind of protagonist Alan Jones and his hyperactive musings on relationships, careers and comedy.

Alan is successful young advertising copywriter in New York who has long harbored aspirations of becoming a standup comic. When his live-in girlfriend Cassan suddenly breaks up with him, he quits his job and launches into an over-analytical pursuit of the ideal relationship and the perfect career by sampling five of each.

Alan attempts to plot his life on a grid where the X-axis represents relationships and the Y-axis, careers. The more grid points, the more informed he will be. At point 2,4 he’s a journalist dating a young party girl in Key West; at point 3,1 he’s single and drinking with Elden Lewis, a quirky barstool philosopher, sounding board, and college friend. Together they craft theories such as personality curves for women, beat Harvard students at pool with a broomstick handle and make a mockery of a hip corporate party celebrating Alan’s Major League Baseball ad campaign.

Alan soon befriends quasi-famous NYC comedian Lutsey Lampkin, who pushes Alan to focus on his comedy aspirations despite the commitment to the grid points. Through it all, Alan contends with heartbreak and lovesickness for Cassan, and 20-40 year-old male and female readers may cringe at their familiarity with Alan’s spastic worldview.

Like Alan, this author has stand-up comedy experience, an impressive/shameful black book, and a professional empathy that comes from once amassing seven W2s in a single year. All this adds up to a quasi-memoir masquerading as fiction.